Scenes from a Flea Market
April 30 in the Netherlands is a national holiday called Queen’s Day, in honor of the queen’s birthday. The reigning Queen Beatrix’s birthday is actually on January 31, but since it is too cold to be out with the folks and celebrate on the streets in January, the queen holds the celebration on April 30, which is her late mother’s birthday.
It could also have been called the national Flea Market Day. People set up booths and stalls on streets all over the country to sell items they no longer need like children’s clothes, toys, gadgets, books and the like.
Since we live on a major shopping street where we have one of the biggest flea markets this side of town, we decided to join and turn it into a family event with the in-laws this year.
As I walked up and down checking and browsing through what everyone else was selling and getting rid of, one can glean a lot of insights from observing things and people in this activity. Here are my seven takes on it:
1) We really buy more than we ever need.
How is it possible to have twenty or fifty handbags in our closet when in reality, we really only use two or three alternately? And yet when we see something that catches our fancy, we can’t help but buy it. And what is it with women and shoes? Fifty pairs are never enough. I think all women are born with the same compulsion Imelda Marcos had when it comes to shoes. The only difference is that she has so much more stolen money and probably lesser self-control.
2) Much of one’s character can be discovered by how one deals with a child.
A woman was selling Barbie dolls with a Barbie Volvo car for €5.00. A little girl, about four years of age, was negotiating with her if she could have it for €3.00. The woman countered with €3.50. The little girl said all she had was €3.00. The woman folded her arms and rudely said, “Oh well, if you’re short fifty cents you can’t have it!” The little girl dropped her head and looked devastated.
What kind of person would rather have fifty cents more of an item she doesn’t need anymore in exchange for the chance to make another child happy and see that priceless look of delight on her face?
3) Flea markets are good for the environment.
We should do flea markets more often. We get to recycle a lot of stuff! It is a good venue for us to get rid of things we don’t need anymore, and it is a good chance for other people to acquire things they want or need at a lesser price. Books, toys, gadgets, small furniture and plenty of other items were bought and sold on this day.
No production costs, no labor costs, no waste of new resources and raw materials – and lesser trash.
4) There is cash lying around in your unused stuff in storage.
That old china tea service set you inherited from your grandmother which you don’t use because its so old fashioned and want to get rid of could be actually worth lots of money to an antique buyer!
5) Companies should re-think their Christmas giveaways policy.
It is a common practice among companies to give their employees Christmas gifts. These come in an assortment of items packed in a Christmas box or basket and distributed to each employee. The other option is that each employee receives a log-in code and password to an online shop chosen by the company. The choices however are limited and mostly crappy and useless.
70% of what we and other members in our stall were trying to get rid of were things we received or had to choose from the Christmas online shop! If I were a company’s purchasing department, I would pay attention.
6) Don’t fall for all that hype to have the latest tech gadget on the market.
Think twice before you buy that extra keyboard for your computer, or the latest portable multi-charger, multi-purpose, multimedia gadget. You can be certain that a year from now, that will be considered obsolete. So stick with whatever you have that works. It’s kind of like not buying the latest Blackberry because all you really use your mobile phone for is calling and the occasional texting.
7) Flea markets are a great way to socialize and get to know your neighbors.
How well do you know your neighbors? How often have you invited them into your house for coffee or the other way around in the number of years you’ve lived in your neighborhood?
This year, because we had a stall in front of our house and they also had one in front of theirs, they came around and introduced themselves and made some chit chat. And we did the same.
We also got to talk to the other sellers coming from all over The Hague and surrounding areas.
It felt like a community.
If there were no planes for a day, a week or two I would enjoy the blue spring clouds hovering above on this sunny day. And relish the airplane-free roar of the skies.
I would be very sad to be far away from my children and family because of a trip I had to take, but understand that this is an act of nature and there is nothing anyone could have ever done.
I would stop writhing and thrashing over the inconvenience this ash cloud has brought upon me; and realize there is no speaking engagement more important, no business meeting more pressing nor world convention more significant than ensuring that the very people who will be traveling to these events will eventually reach their destinations in one piece.
I will be thankful that some group, some government, some scientist out there had the courage to ground all planes so that we’ll all be better off safe than sorry. And I would start praying for those people living in Iceland and nearby who are affected by this relentless pouring of ash rains. I shall wish for them clearer air and skies.
If I have containers of salmon in Heathrow waiting to be shipped to Japan and knowing that it might take sometime before they can be air-freighted, I would send them to Meals-for-the-Homeless volunteers or sell them to the local supermarkets for a lower price. I would rather lose money on it and know that somewhere, somehow, I was able to help people and they were able to enjoy it rather than let it rot and be thrown away in their containers.
I would take delight in the fact that for several days, we had a significant reduction in our carbon footprint in this part of the world. And I would be happy once flights resume, all seats will be filled and there shall be no half-empty transatlantic flights flying for a while.
I would stop whining and blaming the EU authorities for making a mess of the airline industry and start being grateful for their audacity. And if I were the airline industry, for once I might just realize that there are more important things than money, and that might be perhaps… safety?
I would imagine, just imagine, if I insist that the ash cloud does not pose any danger to aviation and then I get to fly. A debris gets caught in the plane’s wings and something happens. And I die.
And then I think to where I am now. Far away perhaps from where I want to be. But grateful that a few days or weeks of grounding planes is not so bad after all if it meant one more shot at a lifetime, a chance to be with my loved ones once again.
I recently attended a bridal shower in the form of a tea service painting workshop. The idea was to paint some plain white tea sets and service plates as a gift to the bride and groom.
The workshop facilitator started off saying that we were free to paint what we wanted but we had to stick to the following “rules”:
A flower pattern is not art that you create.
- Use only the colors blue, turquoise, pink and orange because that’s the bride’s choice (fair enough)
- Do not mix the colors together because you might end up with a different color (?)
- Do not use too much paint because you’ll come out with a thick layer which makes for uneven surface and then you will have to even out the rest of the surface by using more paint.
- Do not use the brush to create outlines because it will not come out right.
- Use the porcelain paint pens instead of the brush to paint or fill in small figures, otherwise it will smudge.
- You can create flowers and butterflies and leaves … if you don’t know how then we have pattern papers you can trace on to the china.
- Here are examples of what the previous participants did before. (Facilitator proceeded to hand out pictures of tea sets painted by previous participants).
- You may all begin.
Everybody grabbed the flower paper patterns and traced it onto the cups and plates.
Expression of a flower pattern...
I wondered why we didn’t go to Ikea instead.
Imagine what the outcome would have been if the facilitator started off with this statement:
“Create an expression of your wish for the bride and groom by painting the images you feel towards them and their life together”.
Not quite a flower, perhaps?
Imagine the self-discovery. Imagine the creativity. Imagine the possibilities.
spring rain flower
It has been a whirlwind ride the past weeks since I came back from my overseas trip. It still amazes me how so much work can pile up in a matter of two weeks’ absence. What are we doing to ourselves?
All these maddening frenzy of chasing trains and trams, getting to the next appointment and meeting deadlines are dizzying. I am beginning to seriously ponder on my intentions. And to go there with one’s thoughts can somehow be depressing – or clarifying, depending on one’s outlook.
Dark spring clouds and downpours do not help any bit at all.
Have we ever really stopped and calculated if we got the fair end of the deal concerning the amount of time our work demands from us against how much we are actually paid to do it?
But hardly anyone does it, because to go there would be scary. To face those questions lurking at the back of our heads forces us to confront what we have given up in order to conform, in order to follow a safe path that guarantees a stable and steady income each month. Doing the opposite entails a leap of faith; courage… and these are hard to muster in uncertain economic times – another excuse. So the majority follows the path of least resistance. Kill the imagination.
On a day when my brain is stuck on that thought I received a lovely message from a friend. It is a gentle reminder from the universe, via my inbox, on the things that matter most. An excerpt reads:
“Now that spring is just around the corner we can say goodbye to the cold and snow and welcome the sun and all the new life that is budding all around us!
A spring sky in April
It was just wonderful to walk in the rain today! I felt like a kid as I purposely walked through puddles of rain making sure I would create a gigantic splash! The streets were flooded and only a few people were out and about.
Those who, for whatever reason were outdoors huddled together waiting for a tram or a bus. They stood shivering, looking impatient and angry because it robbed them of their precious time. It’s especially obvious on days like this that people seem to find it more important to be somewhere (anywhere) else than where they are at the moment.
The weather can have a dramatic effect on one’s state of mind. I find it fantastic and so comforting to know that this is the only moment that counts. It gives clarity, puts things into perspective and makes sense (at least to me)!
Having said that and bearing in mind that it’s important to live life doing things we enjoy, I will close for now saying: hope to hear from you soon!”
What a breath of much needed fresh air, a beautiful prose. I told her she should write a blog. It’s a pity that I rarely get to see her when she lives so nearby. Because life has a way of taking over our days and making us believe that the most important things are on our to-do list; those stuff penciled in on our agenda that keeps us busy everyday.
So one night when I was supposed to be somewhere else and doing something else, I said to heck with everything else on the diary.
I went out and had a wonderful dinner catching up with a friend. It was beautiful.
I was standing outside a restaurant one evening with a dear friend who has been having marriage troubles for years. On this particular night, like many others before this, things were not going well between him and his wife.
“Why did I marry a crazy woman?” he asked me.
“You live the life you choose”, I replied.
“F*^k you! Now that’s going to be bothering me the whole night. What, you going Freudian on me now?” was his angry reply.
“Well it should have bothered you ten years ago,” I quipped.
What do you hope to teach your children by staying for years in a marriage where you are constantly at each other’s throats and can’t see things eye to eye anymore? What are you teaching your children if you start throwing scathing and snide remarks to each other in front of them?
Gone Fishing!
You take off on your own on certain nights without letting your wife know where you are. She hunts you down and follows you around town. And she talks to anyone who cares to listen about the inner workings of your household. Your comedy and tragedy are displayed before everyone to see.
But it doesn’t even matter what everyone thinks because what you should be concerned really is what are you going to do about a situation that’s been going on like that for years.
How long are you going to stay in a bad marriage before you are willing to call it quits?
You think you should stay married because the children need their mother and father in one roof. Well that only works for happily married couples. You are not doing your children any favor with your toxic excuse for a marriage.
As a child, of course I was sad that I didn’t grow up with both parents present. As an adult, I couldn’t have thanked my parents more for separating when we were young. There was no way those two people could have stayed together and be happy. They did us a huge favor by diminishing the damaging effects their bad marriage had on us. And I truly believe we would have had more psychodrama going on than we do now had they stayed together.
A marriage hits rock bottom when husband and wife have totally lost their mutual trust and respect for each other. Once you get there, get out. Because no matter what you do, there is no chance of saving it, no matter how much you try to kid yourselves and believe otherwise.
It’s hard to walk away from a marriage because society has built it up on a pedestal so high that everyone must uphold, and to do the opposite means failure. No one wants to fail.
If we can step back for a while and look at marriage like any other contract that we sign up for. Both parties have to work on it. And when those agreements are breached and we realize that something isn’t working, we try to fix it, repair it, and talk about it. And if it is still not working over a course of time, we end it.
Marriage is so overrated. Marriage is so institutionalized that it makes it difficult for partners to just make the logical and obvious solution of ending something that doesn’t work.
We only live once. And if we can’t find that someone whom we can truly live with in harmony and understanding, isn’t it so much better to be un-married and live in peace?
