On friendships, love and marriage
cc Image Courtesy mendhak ❘ Flickr
A friendship can only last if everyone is on equal footing; no one should feel in competition or be threatened by another. Not even when it exists only in one’s head.
The deeper the angst, the more aggression it manifests. A deeply tormented soul spews equally lethal venom. And you can question the intentions of your best-est friends, no matter how well they mean. But honesty – even just to yourself, can release you from all the heavy weight of denial you carry around with you.
I’ve learned that you can be in a happy marriage, or relationship, and still be tempted. Everything can change in a single moment depending on how you act or react to it. In matters of the heart, one should love with complete abandon, and above all, have the courage to show it.
I’ve learned that even the best husband or wife can break your heart through inaction, disregard or thoughtlessness.
Relationships require a lot of effort. Even the most beautiful flower can only bloom with constant attention and care.
There are people you adore because of the sunshine they bring to your life; and there are those you love because they are your dearest friends – sunshine or not. But at times it can be equally taxing being around the latter and there are days you need to pull away if only to recover your strength from the dark energy that surrounds them.
But you treasure them anyway, no matter what.
No one wants to deal with the unpleasantries and everybody avoids drama or confrontation because it is uncool. I believe in keeping it truthful about sorrow just as we unequivocally squeal in joy and show the world our delight.
We don’t hide happiness, why should we hide sadness?
People have a hard time accepting that pain must be acknowledged alongside joy, or that falling in love is also an invitation to heartache. One has to exist for the other to be true. It goes hand in hand. It is what it is.
Still, the universe loves happy people; those who wear halos so vibrant a whole room just lights up when they enter it. It is but human nature.
The people who love you will love you no matter what. But there’s a limit to how far you can push them. Challenging that love constantly may cause it to end. Even the best of friends can annoy each other.
And when your moral compass flies out the window and no sense of reason or logic can seem to guide you, I’ve learned that if you look at the eyes of your child, you’ll find truth and meaning. You will be capable of selflessness and be willing to do what is right once again.
